Are Couples Who Choose to 'Live Apart' Tested When Partners Require Caregiving?

A study from researchers at the University of Missouri published in Intimate Relationships and Social Change found unmarried couples who opt for long-distance or cross-residential relationships perceive having a flexible mindset about their relationships, especially when one partner requires additional care, reports Phys.org . A lack of knowledge about living apart together (LAT) relationships that are becoming increasingly common among older adults in the U.S. suggests certain family issues that become important later on, such as caregiving or medical decision-making, could be difficult to make for LAT couples and their families. "The societal standard for senior caregiving in the United States is to expect spouses and adult children to step in as primary caregivers; however, we do not know how these expectations apply in LAT arrangements," says lead researcher Jacquelyn Benson. "In our research we are learning that, while living apart seems to be almost universally viewed as a necessity for maintaining relationship satisfaction for these couples, paradoxically couples also are willing to make changes in living arrangements to provide caregiving support to one another." In interviewing adults at least 60 years old and in committed relationships but who lived apart, Benson determined for most couples, living separately and being independent was considered ideal. Study participants understood that keeping separate homes was the simplest way to protect their autonomy. "Most of the individuals we interviewed had not been tested by the realities of caregiving within their current LAT partnerships," Benson notes. "It will be important to follow LAT partners over time to see if their willingness transforms into action and understand the mechanisms that explain these care provision decisions."