Parenting Your Aging Parents When They Don't Want Help

Experts advise children of aging parents who are reluctant to accept their help amid increasing infirmity to prioritize maintaining trust and a loving relationship, reports Kaiser Health New s. A 2018 Northwestern University study in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society surveyed 68 older adults in eight focus groups and found various motivations for resisting help, including fear of losing independence, placing a burden on loved ones, being exploited, and losing control over their lives. Respondents favored "interdependence" — acknowledging that people need one another from childhood to older age — and perceived that "by accepting help, they were in turn helping the person providing the help." Experts recommend children practice patience and give parents time to adjust to the caregiving dynamic. Also essential is firmly establishing that they are on their parents' side, and to stop expecting that their parents will be as they used to be.